Should You Be Kind To The Unkind?
We all remember some random things that happened in our early childhood. One of those things is my mom telling me how bad it is to tease people by their bodies or color. For seemingly unknown reasons, I remember that clearly to this day.
That was a clear line drawn on the sand and I stuck to it(mostly).
I am not that much of a sensitive person to write about this. I learned to deal with others' hate well. But I know a lot of people who face these struggles and go to bed at night depressed. Let's go.
Troll Culture:
Life is weird. At least for me. I met a lot of bullies, and jerks in my college more than in my school. I meet so many people on a daily basis who have zero awareness of how they are crossing their limits with others, and how their words are cutting others deep. I have been blessed to have the most toxic and cheapest environment in my college.
Most people are terribly insecure. They silently hate themselves. They have not come to terms with their flaws to accept themselves. So they divert from this inner agony by taking it out on others.
Dunking on a person in a group conversation is rewarded.
If you had told me that it is fun to troll others inappropriately 5 years ago, I would have laughed it off and thought what kind of a jerk you are.
But take a moment to look at our day-to-day input. Being kind has become uncool.
It's almost seen as a weakness.
It's a troll culture that we live in. Look at every media platform. People are making a living out of trolling others and fans are cheering them on the holy comment sections. We watch the people who make fun of the ‘makers’ with cuss words and we admire them that they are progressive. What the fuck is actually happening?
See, I am not against the troll culture. It appreciates us to be less sensitive and entitled. But my point is that it has eroded the boundaries of communication with other people.
Expect Idiots Along Your Way:
You are always going to encounter people who are hurtful, mean, and just straight-up fucking idiots. Especially because of the current mainstream settings of our generation.
Swallow this fact for a moment.
People react in 2 ways when this happens. They either give a comeback with an equally rude statement or they laugh it off weirdly and overthink why they let this happen to them later on(welcome to our world of slow-over-thinkers)
Okay, the damage has been done now. That person just made a terrible, over-the-line comment on you in front of others. And just like me, you go dumb-struck. It's because you belong to the world of people who are bad at giving comebacks.
Let's start peeling the onion and understand this better. Have a tissue or two.
When they take it out on people, it says a lot about themselves and not others. It's their projection playing out.
Maybe they just had a terrible day and were ignorant of how to deal with it.
Maybe it's how they are brought up.
They lost contact with social rules and etiquette. They don't know that they are not allowed to communicate with other people like that.
Or maybe their parents were busy making money and being imbeciles while raising hurtful and toxic kids.
The Answer:
So should you be kind to the unkind? Yes.
Why? Because you are an adult.
Being an adult is hard. But it's hard for the right reasons.
You are kind to that random old woman on the street not because people are looking at you but because you know it's the right thing to do.
You are honest with others not because some superstitious creature is constantly watching you and will send you to hell. But because it's the right thing to do.
You don't make sensitive comments or thoughtless criticism on others' work or bodies because you know it's the right thing to do.
You leave the place after letting that person know that it's hurtful without lashing out at them while staying respectful not because it makes you think that you are a kind person and feel good about yourselves.
But because it's the right thing to do.
Much love,
Subash.
Cover art by my friend Ashitha Ashok. Check out her other works here.
